Super Mario Bros: The Real Story

Story originally submitted to Super Mario Portal on September 30th, 2003.


Chapter 1 - Where it All Started

ONCE upon a time, in Brooklyn, New York, there lived two brothers. Their names were Mario Mario, and Luigi Mario. They were born two years apart, with Mario being the older brother. Mario was born in 1968; Luigi was born in 1970. Mario and Luigi were good kids, they lived happy lives, that is until both their parents were shot and killed by the Russian mafia. Mario and Luigi’s dad, Tony, owed the Russian mafia money from bets that he made with them. You can tell he lost every single bet he made with them. And the plumbing business wasn’t getting a lot of customers for the past four months, so he didn’t have the money. The Russian mafia called Tony and told him that if he didn’t have the money within twenty-four hours, they would kill him, and his wife, Gabriella. Well, he didn’t have the money, so, when his twenty-four hours were up, he had written his will, and he and Gabriella had said goodbye to Mario and Luigi. Yet, nor neither he nor Gabriella, were scared to die. Mario was only five when this happened.

Luigi was three. Neither of them knew why they left, they didn‘t even know that they had been killed.

After the funeral, Mario and Luigi were placed under the care of their grandpa from their dad’s side. Mario was named after his grandpa, so Mario and Luigi called him Grandpa Mario. Grandpa Mario was closer to the brothers, than their real father ever was. He was the greatest plumber, in the world. He was a plumber’s plumber. He was the Duke of Drains, the Prince of Pipes. When there was a leak or an overflowing toilet, beyond repair, he repaired it. He knew secrets that not other plumbers didn’t even know. He also preached to people, whenever he had the chance. He gave Mario and Luigi anything they wanted. He even saved up his money, to take them to their Great Grandpa Joey Mario‘s, or also known as, Mighty Master Joey, home country, Italy. Nine years later, Mario asked Grandpa Mario where his mom and dad were. Grandpa Mario broke down crying. He told both Mario and Luigi the truth. About the bets, the debt, the threat, and the kill. Mario and Luigi cried for two days straight. Without eating or sleeping. They stayed in their rooms, crying.

"Grandpa Mario, why did God take my parents?" Asked Mario.

"Mario, God didn’t take your parents. Your parents were Born Again believers in Christ. We all belong to God. So how could God take something that’s already his? And don’t think that it is God’s or even you or Luigi’s fault." Said Grandpa Mario.

"Then whose fault was it?" Luigi Jumped in.

"Well, it’s hard for me to say this, but, it was you dad’s fault."

"WHAT?" Mario and Luigi said in unison. "Whaddya mean it’s pop’s fault?"

"Well, he let the spirit of greed come in. And making that mistake, has consequences."

Well, the years went by. The Mario’s went to college, and got their Master’s Degree in both engineering, and plumbing. They even took a few chemistry classes, so that they would be able to identify the different harmful chemicals, in both the sewer, and the overflowing toilets. When they graduated from college, they helped out Grandpa Mario in the plumbing business. The business was called, "Super Mario Plumbing." Being a plumber was the family business. It all started with Mario’s Great, Great Grandpa, Louie Mario, nicknamed Faucet Ferrari Louie. All the way back to 1904. And even though Louie and Joey were great plumbers, Grandpa Mario was the greatest, in history. Grandpa Mario taught them things about pipes, drains, sinks toilets, you name it. Though they knew about plumbing, Grandpa Mario told them tips and secrets, which they never taught at college. Mario was 23 and Luigi was 21, when this happened. Grandpa Mario was 67.

Five years later, Grandpa Mario passed away. But no, he didn’t die of stroke, diabetes, cancer or heart attack or anything like that. He never had any problem with his health. He did his time, he fought a good fight, he was just taken home, to be with the Lord. Mario and Luigi were sad for months. They didn’t answer phone calls, pay bills, they didn’t even talk. But, they were delivered from depression. I shouldn’t grieve over the loss of my grandpa. I should be thankful, that he’s in a better place, and that when he died, that he didn’t go to a WORSE place, thought Mario. Luigi was thanking the same thing in his room.

So, time passed, a year went by, and the bills were paid, the customers were helped when they needed it, and "Super Mario Plumbing," was changed to "the Mario Bros. Plumbing."

"Hey a, Mario?"

"’sup Luigi?"

"Well a, Do ya ever think, that we’ll ever have any competition in plumbing."

"Oh sure Luigi. We’ve got two other plumbing companies in Brooklyn who don‘t like us. Heck, they don’t even like each other. Ehh, but don’t sweat it Luigi. Grandpa gave us secrets, that only the three...uhhh, now two of us only know."

"Yeah, I guess you’re right Mario." Luigi said. Then the phone started ringing. RIIIIIIIING RIIIIIIING!!!!!!!!!!

"Mario Brothers Plumbing. No leak too small." Answered Mario.

"The sewer’s floodin’ down here! We need your help! Scapelli’s men have busted the main drainpipe down here! If we don’t stop it, it’ll flood so much; it’ll start to come up from house toilets, tubs, and sinks! Brooklyn’ll be flooded in about 12.7 hours!"

"Hold on. We are on our way."


Chapter 2 - Save the City Super Mario Bros

"Mario! Not so fast. We still got twelve more hours before anything serious happens." Said Luigi.

"Luigi, I wanna get there as fast as I can. I don’t wanna be swimmin’, in a sewer with the water over our heads."

"Maybe for you shorty."

"That’s not funny Luigi." Mario was speeding through traffic. Going ninety miles an hour. As they stopped at the manhole, Mario said, "Whoa. There are a lot of really great plumbers workin’ down there." Mario and Luigi climbed down the manhole.

"Hey, that was fast!" A person said to the Mario’s.

"Uncle Tommy!?" Said Luigi. "I didn’t know you were down here?"

"Yeah. I gotta call from a plumber who works for the ‘Stambolli Plumbing Company.’ I left Manhattan and came here as fast as I could."

"This is that serious?" Asked Mario.

"You betcha. They called some really great plumbers from Manhattan, Albany, and the Big Apple. They even got ol’ Salvador Drainano from Italy to come here."

"WHAAAT!!!? SALVADOR DRAINANO!!!!!!!!!! THE GREATEST PLUMBER IN THE WORLD NEXT TO GRANDPA!!!!!!!!? Mario and Luigi screamed in unison.

"That’s-a right-a sonny. Even I-a got a call-a . I turns out-a, this is even a challenge-a for me-a." Said Salvador.

"Whoa. Can you believe Luigi? Not even Sal can fix the pipe." Said Mario.

"I know. That’s crazy."

"Well boys, let’s get to work." Said Sal.

"Lead us to that drainpipe." Said the brothers. When they got there, the were speechless. The drainpipe was bigger than they expected.

"H-holy ravioli Mario! Look at the size of that drainpipe!"

"T-that’s about 13 yards in circumference." Said Mario.

"Sonny is you tellin’ me, that the grandsons of the greatest plumber in the world, has never been down here?" Asked Sal.

"We only do the plumbing for houses, Sal." Said Mario.

"Oh brother, lets get to work." Sal said. They were working on it for three hours on it. The water was rising quickly.

As the hours went by, they still weren’t even coming close to fixing the drainpipe. The water had covered the entire sewer. They were up to their necks in water.

"There’s no way to fix this, Mario!" Screamed Luigi.

"Keep tryin’ Luigi!!!! We have to pull through. We have to fix this drainpipe." Shouted back. Then, all of a sudden, Mario thought of an idea. "Luigi! Twenty-one sixteen! Open-ended!"

"Twenty-one sixteen! Open-ended!" Shouted Luigi as he gave Mario the tool. Mario started fixing the rim of the drainpipe.

" Basin Wrench!" Shouted Mario.

"Basin wrench!" Luigi shouted back. When he gave Mario the tool, He told everyone to grab the broken piece of the drainpipe, and hold it up to the other half. While they held it up, he’d put bolts in the pipe so it’d hold together.

"Duct tape!"

"Duct tape!" Mario taped the cracks up and locked off all of the valves. The water stopped.

"WOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Shouted all the plumbers in unison. "YAAAAAAAAAY MAAAAAAAARIOOOOOOOS!!!!!!!!"

"You did it boys. You’re heroes!" Said Uncle Tommy. "You guys were SUPER!"

"Yeah that’s it. You guys are the Super Mario Brothers!" Shouted Sal. But little did they know, that while they were bailing the water, one of Scapelli’s men, was about to unlock a valve, that would send the Super Mario Brothers, on a trip, they’d never forget.


The End


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