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Editorials & Features from the Marioverse

The Return of the Flat Guy

Article originally written by Mario_World 7 for Super Mario Portal ( on 25th of October, 2004.


Ironically, I was the first guy in my neighborhood to trot out to EB Games a few towns down and pick up a well-deserved copy of "Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door" the very first day it came out ... giving me an advantage. Surprisingly, this game was absolutely everything I imagined it would keep and improve on ... plus more ...

The 2-D graphics in a 3-D world are superb. The new storyline. "Rogueport": the main town. Housed deep beneath is a door, been sealed away for hundreds of thousands of years, a deadly demon behind those very bowels, sleeping. And 7 legendary items can banish the threat forever or unleash the apocalypse, for the power of the door gets weaker night by night ... the legendary Crystal Stars ...

The first time I heard the name "Rogueport", I immediately thought it would be the name of a town directly out of "Neverwinter Nights" or something. But later I figured out that Rogueport was a very diverse place. Lounging toads, frantic Goombas, mysterious bandits ... it all fit together ... all the while beating the evil X-Nauts to it and saving the Princess from Sir Grodus' evil clutches ...

You heard me right. For once in the Princess' lonely life, it wasn't Bowser who kidnapped her, but the X-nauts: a mysterious bunch of fellows who are bent on collecting all the Crystal Stars and unleashing the demon within to conquer the world ... while our flat hero, Mario, begs to differ ...

It's actually funny, the improvements they made, all including:

>> The ability to turn sideways through skinny cracks or falling down through vented grates, like a skinny strand of paper.
>> The ability to turn into an airplane to guide yourself to a new destination via flying, as long as you know how to control it carefully.
>> The ability to roll yourself up into a cylinder that can fit through tight places on the ground, and, if you bounce while in the cylinder, jump over objects in cylinder-form.
>> The ability to turn into a paper boat (mmm ... origami) and guide along across the open waters to get to your new destination ... like a distant cousin of the airplane ...

The storyline is great, leaving off where the original Paper Mario left off. Perfect graphics, also. The evil dragon Hooktail and the Skull Pirate Captain Cortez both show off the great new GCN graphics in action and what it can do to the series. Most of you are probably wondering, "Uh ... it's paper. How can it look better no matter what system's it on?"
And, that, I say, is a question for the ignorant, for PM2 has been made a complete makeover: Mario and the [new] gang look like a fresh coat of polish have been added to them, the buildings look more like a paper-book fairy tale, and the physics are perfect along those lines, also. But, of course, there's always the great new battle-system / look, and the ability to have the crowd cheer you on with your appeal meter ... and through things at you ... to damage you ... during battle ...

But, then, of course, there's also always the haters. You know: the people who think that the page-flipping is all a gimmick, like the look that when you press a switch, the pages turn, one-by-one, adding a small part to the bridge each time until it's all done and the pages stop flipping. Among those haters [of the original] include one of the fellow editorial-members, SchwarzerWind ...

Schwarzer, from what I read, to me seems like a very ignorant fool to have judged Paper Mario [original] so meanly, considering the fact that it was a [possibly] superb game among the best of the best for the Nintendo 64, but since he rated it harshly as a marketing gimmick, you could say that true. You could say that true ... in the way of a marketing gimmick that backfired and worked, for the public is now in love with our flat little friend. Here's a tip: next time you see our flat little friend, drop by and say hello. Please. He needs comfort after his long adventure.


- Editorial Critic, Mario_World7


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Author: LukeEmail: This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.